Friday, May 11, 2007
SYF day. SO many things to write but my fingers are aching for a rest. Literally.
NJCSB got Gold! :DMixed feelings we had, truly. I cried like crazy, but it wasnt just because of the disappointment that comes with the absence of "with Honours". Even before the results were out, I was kinda sad already. Cos we dint play our best up there on stage. Yeah, we got most of the notes right, but i couldnt feel any emotions. It was as if our fingers and lips took over, and our minds were elsewhere. We sounded better when we played in the band room, and even when in the tuning room. Perhaps i cried cos of the ever old cliched phrase, "If only..."
Or maybe it was because we let alot of people down. The school (who gave us so many priveleges), the students of the school (who were counting on us for their next halfday), the seniors (whose title we failed to maintain), Mr Ho.. Especially Mr Ho. After his speech, i felt my heart clench up. He put in so much effort for us, coming down for every practice, even when he wasnt feelin well. Although we more than often did not perform up to expectations, he continued to have faith in us, never ever blaming us for anything. I felt touched and guilty at the same time, cos we still werent at our best.
Or could it be because of what others were getting? The three GWH bands, or all the other musical groups in NJ? That's one major thing about SYF i do not like. Instead of making us feel happy our school won awards, it makes us compete within the different CCA groups in the school, to see who won a better medal.. Simin was sayin the other day that when her friends win a GWH, she would feel a stronger sense of stress rather than congratulations for them. I cant say that im any different. I try my best to feel happy for them, but i cant help feeling scared all the same. What if we dont do as well as them?
But i also felt relieved we got gold. Was super afraid we couldnt even get that.. The judges were so strict, i think we're very lucky to get a gold already. And although we dint get the best medal, we took home many valuable things from this SYF. Many friendships were formed, sections grew bonded, and we learnt many things that can never be found in textbooks. "The most important thing is the process." How true. This was proven to me by an idiot from a GWH band. He showed us that some bands got through SYF but still remain superficial, concerned only with the award. His immaturity was shocking. I will never look at SAJC the same way again. SA is a good school, i have many fabulous friends there, but i think he has totally ruined their image.
This guy smirked at me in Carl's junior and sneered, "Thanks for letting us win. Gold with Honours, leh." Like hello, this is not even a competition in the first place? JC already leh, still doing the
nannynanny poopoo.. Grow up. Show that you know how to win with class, please. And if you left SYF with nothing but an uncivilised, obscenely swollen head, i feel sorry for you. Award without character aint gettin' you no respect, hunny.
Shucks i feel like a freakin sore loser. But we should be happy with what we've got. GOLD! Lol, i've only participated in 2 SYFs for Band division in my life (the other one was for Tapdance, in p3. Bronze. HAHAHA), and this is my final one, unless i retain a year or sth.. So i ought to feel as happy as i was in sec3 for this Gold too, right? Double Gold, double happiness! (: (: Bah. What am i crapping? I still feel like shit. -.-
Argh.
Pull yourself together!Alot of us are disappointed, but after a few days we'll regain our spirit. This year's Etude is gonna rock the house down, man! :D
flow - 11:07 PM
